Wake up, coffee, work, eat, watch TV, sleep, repeat!
The magic seems to have been tarnished or the magic is entirely gone!
You hear yourself saying to yourself “Surely this can’t, be it? There must be more? This can’t be my life.
Most people I know at some point have felt this way. We’ve all had times in our lives when we’ve felt stuck. Whether it be in our businesses, careers or personal relationships or trying to kick our finances up to another level.
We take a look around at our lives and realise that there are some things we are dissatisfied with but it doesn’t matter what we do we can’t seem to figure out how to change things. We inadvertently find ourselves leading as the philosopher, poet and generally speaking cool dude Henry David Thoreau said “the mass of men lead quiet lives of desperation.”
I’ve been there! In fact, many times.
Each time I’ve come to recognise that I’ve reached my own personal upper limit. I’ve reached the pinnacle of my best thinking and its giving me my current experience of life and I don’t like it!
Let’s consider life as one great big experiment. You mix a bit of this with a bit of that, and bit of that with a bit of this, and see what happens. Just like all experiments in the science room some experiments explode, some implode and some do absolutely nothing!
So, if we look at our lives like one big experiment and it isn’t working, then we need to mix it up. Change the recipe, change the ingredients, do something different. Anything! Something is better than nothing.
Now the key here is to actually do something. You can’t think your way out of situation you’re not happy with. You can’t sit there and think about what ingredients you’re going to mix together; you’ve got to actually pick up the ingredients and mix them all together.
Ideas and thoughts are a dime a dozen, but acting on those ideas is what really counts!
In other words, you’ve got to decide that you want to change and then actually go about doing it.
Decide that you’ve had enough, decide that you want your life to be more than what it is right now and go out there and start acting on it.
I remember a time in my life when I felt totally overwhelmed. I’d broken up from another relationship, my career had taken a nose dive, I moved country and my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Of course, I was overwhelmed with all that lay before, and I wallowed in self-pity for a little while, like 12 mths to be honest with you.
But at some point, I made the decision that doing this self-pity thing wasn’t going to give me the life that I really wanted. I decided that I wanted more from me and from my life. So, I made the decision to pick myself up and keep moving forward no matter what.
Do I sometimes find myself back in that pit of misery, yes of course we all do but I simply choose not to wallow in it.
Do I sometimes experiment with my life and I don’t get what I was expecting? A lot of the time! But does that mean I don’t continue to keep experimenting. No way!
Do I sometimes feel like I’m going around and around in circles – you bet you. But does that mean I give up entirely? No! Because I know that the experiment of giving up isn’t going to give me to results that I want!
So, if you’re feeling a bit stuck what can you do?
1. Stop beating yourself up, and stop worrying:
Everyone has at some point has felt stuck and overwhelmed. But you can’t stay there, and your brain isn’t going to help you unless you start to change your thinking. Our brains are actually quite lazy. Getting out of your current circumstances requires some new thinking, solving problems, and doing things differently. The brain doesn’t like to think too much, so instead of trying to solve a problem it does what it does best worry, stress and beat yourself up. This experiment will do nothing but keep you stuck. Instead of worrying start asking yourself some useful questions.
• Hey who can help me?
• What’s right about this situation that I’m not seeing?
• What do I need to change?
• Who do I need to become?
2. Act as if.
If you’re lacking confidence because you’re feeling a bit stuck, well just start acting confidently and then over time you will become a confident person. There’s so much research to back this up. If you want to be a happy person, then act and do things that happy people do and then you will become one of them. It’s hard to get unstuck when you’re not feeling confident. So, act as if you’re unstuck allow yourself to feel lighter and you’ll be able to figure things out quicker. Being all Mr Doom and Gloom about things isn’t going get you out of your situation. It’s just going to make you and the people around you miserable and keep you stuck even more.
3. Admit you don’t know what the f#ck you’re doing.
It’s scary to not know what lies ahead. We live in a world of uncertainty. We feel like we have to be in control all the time. The truth is we can’t always be in control of everything. Its ok to at times feel overwhelmed and unsure of the future. Trust in that this time will pass and as Brene Brown say in her book Daring Greatly be willing to “lean into the discomfort.”
4. Do something! Anything!
I know it can be tempting when we feel stuck to allow ourselves to wallow in fear, doubt and uncertainty, and again its ok to stay here for a moment, but you can’t afford to stay here for too long. The longer you stay in that place of uncertainty the more the fear and doubt will
Breathing is totally underrated. But it really is one of the magic ingredients into life’s experiment. Whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed breathing is so important. When we get anxious and fearful we tend to hold our breathe and also shallow breathe. We need to do the opposite. We need to breathe deeper. This oxygenates the cells in your body and brain, gives you energy and assists with making decisions in a more empowered way. Why not include some exercise as well and get twice the benefit. Physical exercise and mental exercise. In fact, if yours stuck in a rut without a doubt one of the best things you can do is go for a walk/run. When I was at my lowest of lows, my exercise has been the one thing that’s kept me together.
Well that’s it! Regardless of where you are right now you can change; you just need to make the decision that you want to and the follow through with some action!
Want to know more about how you can maximize your performance and start living a life on your own terms? Join international speaker Johnnie Cass at his 1-day live event Life By Design: Create the business and life you truly love.